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Warning: Tiniest bit of SPN spoiler.

So I've decided (since I've actually gone and gotten myself more friends ... hi ppls) to come and post on this thing. Since I've been all over my IJ one with meems (yes. I'm a meemer). Um, well. College sucks. Life is ... hmm. And I might be in love with NCIS LA. Yes. I know. It's so horribly cliche in a LOT of stuff. The lines are cheesy at times. Though funny and even snappy. The side characters need more play. Not that I don't love LL Cool J running around and that other dude too. I have no idea what his name is, let's call him G. I even love that. At first I thought it was all like, yo G. But that's his name. Which makes it funny. He can be all waddup G! Without being stereotypical. The whole not knowing his first name thing? IDK how much I buy into that. Might be a little TOO little Oprhan Ann-boy. But it's good. Kenzie is hot, had to stop that and say it, cause she is. I have to use her as PB soon.

I also like how LL Cool J's character (sorry, I will forever call him LL) and the white dude, whose name I am too lazy to look up, are like best-buds and cop partners and there is no homoeroticness about it. Not that I don't LOOOOOOOOOVE homoeroticness. But when you get smack in the face with Wincest and Wealsey twinscest ALL THE EFFING TIME! It's fucking TIRING. Not to mention EVERYONE and their GRANDMOTHER'S DOG wants to be bromantic. It's like it was fine before. Why do you have to be all over it because it's "cool" now. Why couldn't you like it because it was cool for what it is not because everyone else and their chihuahua are insane over it. Whatever. Though I am so sure that the only reason they gave that dude in White Collar (USA channel people!) a wife was because they don't want people to slash them. I'm pretty certain anywayz. Though even though I have yet to see the show. I'm already slashing them in my mind. They're so hot for each other. It's like they made it out that way on purpose. *nods*

Like the Merlin folk. Arthur/Merlin for realz. But that's okay. Even though I don't fan Arthur/Merlin. It makes SENSE. Then again everyone in that show is doing everyone else. Gaius too bitches (I love that show, don't take it as an insult. BBC Merlin ... I'll have ALL your babies).

I think I'm done rambling now. It's very therapuetic. I might post this on my IJ though, since I want more insight on this. Oh and I now play an 11 year old Draco Malfoy. Apparently I'm a masochist? Oh and the Dean being Michael? I so saw this. But I will never get the credit. This is what happens when you write fanfic for other people and don't post it *shrugs* All I know is if they make my boys kill each other, I'm throwing one show at the TV and the other shoe at Kripke's head. And I love Kripke. Dr. Sexy M.D. indeed lol :-P
So school started yesterday. So much for getting to organizing this before classes. Oh, well. I promise to TRY? Ha :-D

I don't have nothing much to say except, hi people who randomly added me to their journals. It was so weird-not bad weird more like pleasently surprised-when I got the e-mail, almost missed it since AOL has been a goober for quite a while. But I added you all ... ya'll (you all is just weird) right back. I like new friends! :-D ... yeah lol :-)

Oh, and lookie this. I DO have something new to say. Imagine if this was Molly Weasley and Snape had to deal with the result. *cackles*". I mean really. SEVEN Weasley's in the SAME year? They would have done Moldy Butt's snake's job years ago. On the same note, wow. Octoplets? The concept of more than three at one time makes me go all O.O ... poor woman. But the publicty will be something to ride on for some time.
So, I'm back! Not exactly swinging but I'm back. I plan on writing-at least the little while I have left before classes start-and organizing my fic. I plan on placing my fics here, mostly my one shots. Becaue 1) I'm lazy and 2) Most of the information I had to continue all my MANY WIPs (sorries!) are sorta in a mess since my computer crashed. Hopefully, God willing, it'll all be sorted out.

If you have a care for where I am at RP-wise, check out my IJ journal. Same name as this one. For you more less-willing to search, then you should find it linked somewhere on this page

I hope everyone's good and had a safe and happy holiday.

Thia is me signing off because I'm starting to sleep.
But, this time promise to be back soon *s*

Itch that I can't scratch

Warning: Does contain slight cursing

Oh My Goodness. I actually want to study. I don't know if I will, even though I sort of have to. The having to is not the point. The wanting to is. It's like so weird. But I suppose that that is good. I have to get back to that 3.5 GPA I had first semester (no I won't tell you what I got last two ... I don't even want to think on them) and I feel that I will. The things is I actually want to do it, like on my own and not copy my cousins homework. I should have seen this coming. This has been slowly occurring since junior year of high school. I am maturing, at a snail's pace mind you, but I am. Next thing you'll hear is me wanting to be organized! *aghastage* I already hand in most of my hw on time. But that's only cause they don't play (much) in SB.

However, I have this thing that contradicts study time. Writing time. I find myself feeling as I have to do more for Parvati. Expand that world of hers, where she is a werewolf and Umbridge didn't go to Azkaban and Lupin is alive. I want to take it away from what I know from that RPG and make it my own (for creative purposes and not because I fear plagiarism accusations. I think :-P). The problem is I CAN'T. At least I don't think. Maybe I should learn to prioritize and balance my time. I have sooooooo many things to write. Some of them getting a pretty constant (or pretty sporadic :-D) stream of reviews and others none at all. Either or, I don't care cause I want to finish them. For me. I don't know, maybe for a sense of completion? Maybe cause I owe it to the story, some sense of fullness, or some cosmic Godly muse up there. Or maybe just to my readers. I don't know but I have such a drive to WRITE. However, I don't know where to start.

It's nuts cause, I find myself half-way through writing/editing a story before I get the call for something else. Do I follow the call (which is sort of hard with all the stories and storylines I have left hanging)? Or do I stick it through even if the words and the flow have become stagnant for a particular story?

Lately I have been in an HP craze. Which is good news for the Epic I'm writing with Dawn. My brother has been bitching to be about it like forever. Stupid brat loves the story and loves helping to research for it. My ears are getting a break. And I sort of have a spn groove. So that's good for the two SPN stories I have going on. The SPN/HP story I have started (after my first midterms) should (hopefully, God willing) shell out a few chapters. But my Charmed, BtVS, Firefly/Charmed, Inu-Yasha, One Life to Live, BtVS/SV, Charmed/A:ts ones probably won't see the light of day for a long while. Which sucks cause Buffy and Lex were about to get into the fisticuffs, and John was about to find out those kids. Not to mention ... to Illyria or not to Illyria? *growls then sighs* Still the Epic out of all them (aside for the Inu-Yasha one) has the most priority. It's shaping to be a long one. Tons of couples, lots of ministry bashing, and moral questioning. Not to mention Black and Weasley action. I am fair ITCHIN' to start working on it even though I have a Bio exam I'm hardly prepared for.

And another thing. In fact maybe it's not another thing. I'll get back to that when my HP itch calms down. Cause I really don't even want to join but I HAVE to write something, ANYTHING HP. I don't know why. I have barely touched the seventh book. Maybe it has to do with all the Harry/Snape, Ron/Draco stories I've been reading. Who knows. All I know is that I need to stop being such a Pieces and such a member of my mom's side of the fam and learn to focus


Title: Roses
Playlist:  I Hate Jimmy Page by Mindless Self Indulgence (for the first third and a bit of the second), Roses by Poets of the Fall (for the whole of the second third, and for a bit of the present), Yesterday by the Beatles (for the present time bit and for Parvati in general.  This song and Roses constantly play in my head when I think of her).
Fandom:  Harry Potter.  Spoiler: If I was PRESSED to name one I'd say DH, but a sort of AU take to it.
Rating: Rated R for description self-mutilation, cutting. 
Chapter(s): 1/1
Summary:  The Aftermath of the Battle of Hogwarts may have left more sorrow than originally thought.  Parvati Patil is far from the girl she was at Hogwarts nor is she the young woman a year after the war.  She isn't looking for a middle ground but she would like some sleep.
Notes:   This was originally for an RPG I wanted to join but that didn't work out. But I really was happy with this and decided to post it as a ficlet. It's a bit darker than I usually do.  And more internal thought than I ever let myself go into (I mean I love stream of consciousness and I love doing internal monolgues, though I try not to cause people seem not to like it.  This is a bit more of what I love and a bit less of what is liked. So, no, there is no dialouge. Only three sentence are verbally spoken :-D).  


So I heard yesterday that SK, Sherrilyn Kenyon for you DH deficient (sp?) individuals, is acknowledging Lucifer's demons.   And all I have to say is HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and *dance around, preferably to a combination of the funky chicken, the hustle, and the macarena* and also say I acknowledged them FIRST!

Not in the whole worshiping them way.  Cause that isn't my deal at all.  But in the fiction way.  I saw NO reason why such demons couldn't play in the SK-versage.  In fact I CREATED one. (I am in a caps mood today. You can blame it on my migrane).  And I used Asmodai, cause fish-man is coolage with the writing. Don't believe me? That's your problem.  All I have to say SK should bow down to my greatness and I should charge fees, ya know.  Cause I thought of it first.

Now that is said, I must ask, doesn't that suck in a sorta cool way?  When you think of something and then some famous author/t.v. show producer thinks of it too?  Makes ya wonder why the hell you're not getting the big dough.

Well, not really.  Me in my case it's because I'm lazy and cause my parents won't let me go for creative writing.  But it seems to be a case of great minds.  And if THEY can do it, then maybe I can.  

Not to mention better. Cause I'm sorry to Mr. Whedon but I would have never given Spike to Buffy.  Yes I am big Spike/Buffy fan but I would have so made Xander the gay one. And I would have given Anya, someone else (not cancelled her cause I love Anya). And Buffy could have been alone.  Or stayed with Parker.  Not Riley, cause look what she did to him? I mean really.

Anyways.  That's just an example.  To bring it back to point A, for those of you who cannot comprehend my rambles (that's okay neither can I sometimes), it seems to be a whole 'nother cosmic karma, will of God (or whoever you worship) thing.  Even though I obviously can think ideas like the big guns (or better. Again, Mister Whedon. Dude you're great. You gave me Spike. Gunn/Wes undertones.  Dork!Angel.  But Connor/Cordy. What were you THINKING?!) it is not meant to be.  My destiny is obviously to be an International Lawyer.  Which mind you isn't so bad.  Can we say UN people?

Ooo. Maybe these Lucifer Demons of SK's will infiltrate Congress. Now that'd be a storyline.

I feel sorta good right now.  I tried out for this RPG group, twice but differently, and I didn't get in.  The first time I was all woe is me but now I'm not.  I am really realizing it wasn't meant to be.  Let's be realistic. I wouldn't have the time to devote to it, it wouldn't have been fair.  I have sooooooooooooooooooo many things to do for college.  Chemistry takes focus, as does pre-law.  Yes, I am finally admitting it Mom, you're right and  I am wrong. Luckily I doubt you'll ever read this, so the balance of my world can stay the slightly off-kilter it has always been.

Still though I did really want to play in their verse *Shrugs* It was different from what I usually play with.  Not that I don't like the other things I do. Oh, NO, no no no no no no ... non.  I ADORE it.  It's flexiable, it's imagitive, and I work with a bunch of talented writers (who are either authors or on their way to being) and they teach me a lot.  I'm da adowable baby! LOL It's mucho fun, still though, as I said, I wanted to try something different.  I guess it wasn't meant to be.  Not everyone fits with everything.  At first, like I said too lol, I thought it was me (not to say it was them or anything *shrugs*) and I have to admit the first story I sent while okay *wrinkles nose* it wasn't the character, it was an attempt to try too hard.  A problem I need to really need to get rid off.  The second time though, while I DID attempt to try too hard again, I know it was good.  Not to toot my own horn.  Just to clear things up, I rarely ever do that unless I'm deeply satisfied with my work and that usually happens after the seventeeth read, three months later.  But, this I like it right off.  I liked it's purer form better and I do wish that I saved it ... but as I said, I really need to stop looking to be like other writers.  

This feels like a sudden Barney, Dooley, Teletubbies episode but Mr. Rogers would be damn disappointed in me.  Any that is neither here nor there.

Back to the matter of WHY I feel good about myself.  I'm growing up. The rejection really doesn't bother me, it does but not so much, anymore.  I'm coming to the conclusion that you can't please everyone.  Shut up, Dawn :-P.  I am still doing that double major so THERE!  That little comment is a reference to parents, whom you have to please.  At least that's the way I was raised.  But everyone else? Well, I'm not going to say screw them (shut up, Vavi!) but learn from it.  And don't hold it to heart way too much or you'll get no where.  That has been my problem, too, and it won't be anymore.

Expectations? Make your own.